Wa Si Hokkien Lang

HEPI NIU EAR LAH KIONG HEE KIONG HEE!

Thai keh ho boh? Limpeh si chia koo boh blog liao. Keebod mah seh san liao! Ai tiam tampok yiok sueh kah eh sah eng.

Aih. Jit nee limpeh sibeh sueh leh. Puak kiau soo kanneh lan. Puak 21 soo, puak baccarat soo, puak poker soo, puak texas holdem limpeh soo ka ai teng kor ah! Puak baccarat giak 21 eh bai, puak 21 giak baccarat eh bai. Kanneh. Limpeh si sueh ka boh wueh kong.

Ai pai ni mah kang kor. Ker jueh chia liao ai chueh peng yiu mah kang kor. Limpeh si hua manual eh chia. Ai dak yiu ai dak brek, aih dak kao limpeh kar sng. Limpeh gao peng yiu eh chu si chun, limpeh ai lok chia pun kang kor! Jin eh si cibai.

Mia jai si chueh cit ah si chueh puek? Aiyah, soo lui soo kao bueh ki liao lah. Eh, eh ki ai bai sin ah!

Patt thor si beh yiao, limpeh soon chiu tiok huah chia ki McDonalds jiak supper. Limpeh ka lu kong, am mee si kan ai jiak supper, siong hor si mai ki McDonalds. An chua leh? Tiong kim Ramadhan ki McDonalds ai bai dui pun gang koh. Wo boh si kong huanna lang boh hor, tapi limpeh patt thor si beh yiao la! McDonalds eh staff mah si huanna, zhor kang si beh bann. Limpeh eh zai lu puasa, tapi lu puasa mai anneh kuan ai si ai si eh sai boh?

Si beh bann eh ler. Jit zhun McDonalds si Slow Food liao lah. Boh si Fast Food liao lah. Staff kar chiu bann, beh yao kin. Limpeh na si koh ai huah chia ki KFC, tiok jin bann liao. Choon kut tao liao.

Bai dui bai dui, bai tiok limpeh si zhun, jit geh staff ga limpeh bin chioh chioh take order. Limpeh order liao, heng lui liao, chueh teh hng zeh. Zeh liao tiok kin kin lim tao seng staff hor limpeh eh Coke. NABEHHHHH yi hor limpeh eh Coke kanna kun zhui eh!!!!!!!

Tulan.

Limpeh tau merng sibeh terng. Wu jit gang bohsong tiok cheong ki salon kioh ah beng ga limpeh kar tau merng.

Limpeh: “Ah beng, lai ga limpeh kar tampok. Mai sueh ah. Limpeh boh thua jin chueh lui.”

Ah beng: (BOH THUA LUI?!) “Wah, boh thua lui? Wa thia kong lu sibeh wu lui leh.”

Limpeh : “Hahahaha, lu si di jit peng hee kia thia eh? Boh lah. Limpeh ai kar tau merng mah si jit nerng ko guek ka kar jit pai.”

Ah beng: “Si meh? Mai sien wa la hor.”

Limpeh : “Limpeh boh ahneh eng sien lu. Kammeh lai kar tau merng lah.”

Ah beng: “ok ok…”

…

Limpeh : “Er, ah beng ah, bueh ki merng lu hor. Jit peng kar tau merng ai luah chueh lui ah?”

Ah beng : “RM30.”

Limpeh : “WAH LANEHHHH. Lu tock kueh bak ah?”

Ah beng : “wahlao. wa plofessional leh.”

Limpeh : “laoeh. mai kar liao lah. Limpeh chueh Muthu kar. Boh gao lui la. RM30 sibeh kui.”

Ah beng : “ok lur”

MERDEKA! (merdeka!) MERDEKA! (merdeka!) MERDEKA! (merdeka!)

:) Bian chut meng liao. Confirm thatt chia.

Sien. Tiong kim thee si suka suka juak suka suka khua. NIAMAH. Limpeh beh hu adjust leh! Mai suka suka wuah temperature leh! Limpeh body beh tahan khua juak khua juak. Limpeh eh si eh leh!

After sar kang sibeh beh tahan sine-graph temperature. Kanna hit tiao gua “wu si ki… wu si lorr…”, jit geh temperature sibeh kuai lan. An cua mai hor hor lork jippai tua hor, hor limpeh kun song song?

Limpeh phua pnee liao. Ear infection, throat infection, nose infection simik sai limpeh wu.

Lorkun khua liao limpeh, yioh tao. Kioh limpeh lim chueh chueh chui. Yi hor limpeh tampok yiok, simik antibaiotik wa mm zai lah. Jit geh yiok eh mia peng steady. Simik cipro simik lin, beh hiao lah.

Limpeh eh pnee siong hor si hakin ho.

Haih. Zhor hak seng siong teh cham eh si gan tiok si kor chek. Jit thak chek mi thak chek. Ai check mail khua hee mah boh eng. Ai kun geh gui tiam jeng mah beh sai. Takkang ki lai simik pun bien sior, tiok si thak chek nia.

Limpeh jin pin thua thak la!

Thak lai thak ki mah si sioh siang eh mi kia. Khua liao mah sien.

*Sioh Bak Zhang ringtone*

Limpeh : Halo?

Ah Pek : Halo?

Limpeh : Halo?

Ah Pek : Halo?

Limpeh : Halo? Unker. Lu si tiang?

Ah Pek : Wa… lu… lu… Lu si tiang?

Limpeh : Unker. Lu ka simik hor beh?

Ah Pek : 01H-OKKIEN-LANG

Limpeh : Erm. Tiok ah. Lu si tiang, unker?

Ah Pek : … …

Limpeh : Halo?

Ah Pek : … *kam tien wek*

Limpeh : *-_-|||*

Thee si sibeh juakkkk. Limpeh ai phuah pee liao.

Limpeh jit kui kang tiam tiam ga sao. Sao beh teng. Wu si sao liao sibeh kang kor. Pang eh jio long zhong si erng sek. Beh tahan. Limpeh na si boh ki khua lor kun, boh tang jiak yiok. Tapi khua lor kun jin gwee eh leh…

Limpeh pokai liao.

Eng credit card eh sai boh?

Limpeh : Plomotion si boh?

Ah Beng : Ah. Siloh.

Limpeh : Then, jit zhun si simik position liao?

Ah Beng : Sueh sueh liap ci nia lah.

Limpeh : Peng siong si eh programmer plomote jioh jioh wu manager mah. Wu boh?

Ah Beng : Boh.

Limpeh : Then? Lu plomote simik.

Ah Beng : Wa ai gao yun liao.

Limpeh : Har? Jit geh ga plomotion simik guan heh?

Ah Beng : Tauke eh chabohkia mah…

Limpeh : Wah, lu sueh sueh liap programmer jit zhun zo tauke eh son-in-law ah?

Ah Beng : Heheheh, ga lu kong liao plomotion.

Limpeh : Anneh kuan… lim kopi nia meh. Kio gui ki Carlsberg happy laaaaa.

Ah Beng : Okeh!

Ah Beng : Eh, eng boh? Kia lim kopi.

Limpeh : Mai lah. Limpeh boh simik eng. An cua kia lit anneh hor jio limpeh lim kopi?

Ah Beng : Heheheh, wa tiok promotion.

Limpeh : Wah, anneh kuan ai chia liao lor!

Ah Beng : Chia lu lim kopi la.

Limpeh : Lim kopi niahhh?

Ah Beng : Lim kopi boh gao?

Limpeh : Gao… gao…