Wa Si Hokkien Lang

Haha, Ah Lun koh hor ma ta saman. Yi sibeh sueh eh ler, huah chia beh hiao huah hor hor, song song tiok hor ma ta orr kong. Wa, Ah Peng ka Ah Lun ai ki jiak dim sum (hee kang boh jio yi jiak, yi tulan), yi huah sibeh kin. Ah Lun macam sibeh ku boh jiak dim sum liao, macam jin high anneh kuan. Kanneh. Dim sum nia mah.

Ma ta : “Tadi u tao u pandu berapa pantas?”

Ah Lun : “Tak pantas leh Bang, 80 saja.”

Limpeh : “Oi Ah Lun, puek chap jin kin liao leh. An cua lu annneh gong?”

Ma ta : “? Apa kau cakap?”

Limpeh : “Oh, tadak tadak…”

Ma ta : “U jangan cuba tipu saya ah! Saya tao u pandu melebihi had tadi. Mana IC?”

Limpeh : “Aiyo, bang, gua tak arak cuba tipu lu ler… lu pakai ini macam kelip kelip pya uniform gua takut ler…”

Ah Lun : “Eh, mai ka yi kuai lan ler…”

Ma ta : “Apa lu cakap?”

Ah Lun : “Er… tadak tadak…”

Ah Peng : “Mai ka yi sih suah kong wueh lar. Wa patt tor sibeh yiow liao.”

Ma ta : “Oi, ini amaran terakhir! Jangan kao cuba tipu aku!”

Limpeh : “Eh, yi tulan liao.”

Ma ta : “Lu mau bagi I lu punya IC tak?! Aku ni tak ada masa mau sembang dengan u!”

Limpeh : “Nah, Lun. Hor yi gor chap kor settle.”

Ah Lun : “Bang, ini… sedikit hadiah… untuk keluarga… … ”

Limpeh : “HAIYAH. Bang! Ini boleh settle?”

Ma ta : “Mm. Jalan.”

Kia lit zhar ki wa ka Ah Peng ki jiak dim sum ( Ah Lun : “Kanina! Boh jioh wa!”). Dim sum tiam jin thua oh! Lai bin jin zueh lang zher. Wa ka Ah Peng ai chueh teh hng zher mah jin kang kor. Hor chai wu jit twee lao lang ki lai hor wa lang zher. Kam siah oh. Ah si boh teh hng zher, wa tiok siao siao tng chu sambung khun.

Dim sum tiam eh auntie jin boh eng oh! Jin chueh lang lai jiak, yi giak order giak bueh hu. Wa khi chiu kio auntie lai, wa ai order thua pao. Auntie lai eh si zhun wa kong ai jit liap “thua pao”, Ah Peng ai jiak Loh Mai Kai (Lok Mi Khueh?).

Tan tan tan tan tan kao jit tiam jeng, thua pao koh beh lai. Wa pu hueh liao. Niameh patt tor jin yiow leh!

Tao seng eh Auntie mm zai ki tolok liao. Leng wa jit eh Auntie lai. Wa lang kio yi Auntie2 ok?

Limpeh : “Auntie!”

Auntie2 : “Ah.. Lu olang punya pao sulah latang?”

Limpeh : “Eh auntie. Wa si tng lang leh! Mm si huan na!”

Auntie2 : “Oh soli soli. Wa khua lu orr orr kanna huan na lang.”

Limpeh : “Wa eh thua pao leh?”

Auntie2 : “Ok.. THUA PAO JIT LIAP, CHAP LAK HOR!”

Wa eh hee kia ai puah liao.

Ah Peng : “Oi Auntie! Wa eh Mai Kai leh? Mai bueh ki!”

Auntie2 : “MAI KAI JIT LIAP, CHAP LAK HOR!”

Wa eh hee kia puah liao.

Tauke : “Hokkienlang, wa kioh lu zhor eh assignment, lu zhor liao bueh?”

Limpeh : “Koh beh zhor liao. Si kan beh kao mah. Lu hor wa one month zhor… wa one month liao ka submit.”

Tauke : “Ha? One month? Wa ti si kong one month ah? Si one WEEK ah!”

Limpeh : “Aah? One week? Jin eh boh, tauke… wa eh ki lu kong one month ler.”

Tauke : “Mai kong chioh lah. Wa mana wu anneh ho, hor lu anneh chueh si kan zhor assignment eh?”

Limpeh : “Si hor. Lu mana wu anneh ho eh. Jiak png mah mai chia. Sibeh ngiao.”

Tauke : “Har?”

Limpeh : “Boh.. Boh.. Hehehe…”

Wa mm zai jiak tiok simik la sap mi kia. Jiak liao tng chu tiam tiam lau sai. Khua loctor, yi kong si food poisoning. Wa chuak tiok. Food poisoning mah ai kia ti hospital lo? Yi kong bien. Jiak yi hor eh yiok tiok kao liao. Bien ki hospital. Yi eh yiok kao steady liao. Nabeh. Kong ka yi sibeh kiang.

Wa tng chu jiak ber cham tam pok kueh bak. Si boh cham kueh bak wa jiak beh lok. Anneh kuan pek ber boh cham mi kia an cua jiak. Sibeh kang kor.

Jiak liao wa tiok pa toh thia. Kin kin cao ki jamban ta pi bueh ki giak poh chua! Si. Wa na jamban zher zher zher zher kao phuah tiam jeng boh poh chua khua!

Appai wa ai bueh poh chua pang pang keng ka jamban. Confirm pang sai si zhun bueh sien.

Ah Lun : “Eh, Hokkienlang. Lu wu boh?”

Limpeh : “Wu simik?”

Ah Lun : “Lu eh zai la… Wa ai khua.”

Limpeh : “Ai khua ki khua la. An cua ai mng wa eh.”

Ah Lun : “Thia Ah Peng kong lu wu mah…”

Limpeh : “Wu simik? VCD si boh?”

Ah Lun : *thook tao*

Limpeh : “Lu ai Star Wars ah si Batman Begins ah si Mr. And Mrs. Smith? ”

Ah Lun : “Walaoeh. Lu mm zai wa ai jiok simik hee ah?”

Limpeh : “Simik lah?”

Ah Lun : “Neh… Korea eh.”

Limpeh : “La sap hee si boh?”

Ah Lun : *thook tao*

Limpeh : “Wa boh lah. Ah Peng luan kong wueh.”

Ah Lun : “Jin eh boh, yi kong lu siang chueh eh ler.”

Limpeh : “Boh lah. Wa mana wu lui bueh jit kuan mi kia eh. Lu ki mng Ah Peng lah.”

Ah Lun : “Ok lor…”

Mia zai…

Ah Lun : “Cibai ler Hokkienlang. Lu kong lu boh. Ah Peng kong yi boh. Si tiang wu leh?”

Wa kong wueh
Wu lang thia boh?

Wa zhor kang
Wu lang khua boh?

Sim pi boh lang,
Wa jin ji mo.
Tak kang zhor tang zhor sai,
Wu lang eh zai boh?

Bien kong liao.
Sien liao.
Kong anneh chueh.
Wu lang thia boh?

Nao hiah, si kao bu su ka ti wa eh chu wa kao pang jioh. Sibeh chao. Tak kang chut ki, wa tiok ai kam chui… kanna wu lang tiok SARS eh.

Kia wa keh piak eh mah si jin tu lan.

Si kao bu. Lu tan lah. Wu jit kang wa pang sai ti lu eh chu!

Limpeh : “Wah, Ah Lun. Thia kong lu Eng Kok tng lai liao sibeh Englund ah?”

Ah Lun : “Wu meh? Mai anneh kuan kong la.”

Limpeh : “Haha… wu sior jiak Nasi Lemak boh? Haha…”

Ah Lun : “Hit tao Asian Food sibeh kwee. Sa ma keh ci jin kwee. Si kang long zhong jiak Fastfood.”

Limpeh : “Jiak ker chueh Fastfood eh zar si ah.”

Ah Lun : “Cibai, mai luan kong. Wa eh mia sibeh tng. Lu si liao wa koh beh si.”

Limpeh : “Kao peh lah. Jiak la. Jit peng eh Nasi Lemak sibeh phang hor?”

Ah Lun : “Phhhaaang…”

Limpeh : “Wah. Ah Lun ban ban jiak. Mai kheh tiok. Ai zai lu ki hospital jin ma huan.”

Ah Lun : “Kao peh. Jiak.”

Limpeh : “Kao bu. Jiak.”

Kia lit eh air con boh hor seh. Kui zar ki try lai try ki, an cua try mah bueh kwee. Tu lan. Kioh electrician lai khua, yi kong phua tiam jeng lai. Wa tan kao nerng tiam jeng, yi koh beh kao.

Khua liao air con, yi kong air con lai bin phai.

Yi pun jin kao professional. Simik mi kia mah boh tua. Tiam Tiam jip chut office workshop giak mi kia. Aih.

Yi zhor liao lai mah tiok 3 tiam liao. Bueh tahan. Wa boh pien tng chu wuah sa. Wa eh sa kui eh tam ka liao. Chao ka beh si. Juak ke beh si.

Thak

Anneh chueh tng lang SPM giak jin chueh A, ta pi simik sai scholarship mah boh. Wu lang cin cin cai cai thak giak sar, si, gor eh A, jeng hu hor yi ki UK thak chek. Thak zhor lor kun wa mah khua kuei. Wa mm kar sioh appai eh PSD lor kun si simik kuan eh.

MIC kar MCA thar tiok ai tolong tolong wa nang eh hao seh kia. Mai anneh kuan lang fei ler. Wa eh zai jeng hu ai encourage huan na giak excellent results, ta pi mai zhor kao anneh kuan mah. Wu liao eh, tiok hor scholarship. Boh liao eh, tiok kio yi ki buey DVD. Boh tiok kio yi ki thak tampok Skill. Boh tiok kio yi ki si.

Lu nang wu khua Sepet boh? Sibeh hor khua (au ber tampok toot la, wa boh beng pek). Orked eh lao bu kong Orked SPM giak gor eh A, jeng hu hor scholarship ki thak chek. Hee kor Jason ler? Chit eh A, ta pi boh lang hiu lan yi. Yi tiok ai ki buey VCD/DVD. Kolian tai.

Jeng hu ah jeng hu. Bak jiu kwee tua tua liap please! Wa khua yi nang hao seh kia seng jit hor, ta pi giak bor scholarship jin cham.

Tolong (Wa khua beh thong) :

SPM - Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia*
UK - Eng Kok
PSD - Public Services Department

*Tao seng wa sia Pendidikan hehe. Kam siah charbo