Wa Si Hokkien Lang

Sueh han si zhun wa suka khua thang khua sai. Boh kang coh wa tiok khua tor chiu peng, chia chiu peng, khua khua wu simik mi kia hor sng, simik mi kia hor jiak, simik mi kia hor zhor.

Wa eh kee theng pai wa ka kwee eh peng you ki thao yia (coconut). Wu jit pai boh sioh sim hor huan na tui. Wa zao kao kor lak liao mah si ai zao. Boh pien mah. Wa thao lang eh yia, yi thar tiok boh song eh. Fuuh. Eh kee hee kor huan na giak char ai bhuuuuut wa. Hor chai wa zao sibeh kin.

Lu khua. Wa jin sueh han si zhun sibeh bo liao. Aih. Ta pi jit zhun sior thor theng liao gu zhar eh experience, jin song.

Kia lit zhar ki kao tiam wa zao ka bueh chuan khui. Jip offit barn liao ko beh lim kopi. Si liao. Bo si gan, bo zeng sin, bo lat. Anneh kuan mana eh sai!

Theng chia liao wa zao jip lift, sibeh heng khua tiok tauke. Offit kwee tiam zhor kang si khua tauke kwee tiam kao eh. Yi kao tiam kao, wa lang tiok kao tiam zhor kang. Yi charp tiam kao, wa lang tiok charp tiam zhor kang.

Oh, tiok. Lift lai bin wu sar eh lang. Wa, tauke kar jit eh lao char bo. Lao char bo wu si charp hueh liao. Yi khua tiok wa ka tauke, yi bin chioh chioh kong “Good Morning”. Wa ka tauke tiok ho chwee kong “Morning Good”.

Lift teh ki eh si zhun, wa phee tiok jit eh bau. Sibeh cao. Tauke mah si phee tiok. Yi signal wa kong sibeh cao. Wa yioh tao, kong boh si wa pang pui. Tauke mah kong boh si yi pang pui. Siao liao. Wa lang kia lit zhar ki phee lao char bo eh pui!

Bien lim kopi liao. Zeng sin liao.

Ah Lun : “Song liao song liao! Wa ai ki khua Sars Wars liao!”

Limpeh : “Star Wars. Boh si Sars.”

Gao hee hng…

Ah Lun : “Siao jie… Wa ai bueh popcorn ler.”

Siao jie : “Okeh! Lu ai simik kuan eh set?”

Ah Lun : “Tua eh.”

Limpeh : “Sibeh tam jiak.”

Ah Lun : “Lu kong simik?”

Limpeh : “Boh… boh… hehehe”

Siao jie : “Lu eh chooi, ai simik?”

Ah Lun : “Wu simik kuan ler?”

Siao jie : “Oh, kia lit wa nang balu wu Coca Cola.”

Ah Lun : “Ah, then lu mng wa zhor simik?”

Ah Lun eh chia hor ma ta orr kong. Wa zhar zhar tiok kong liao Double Line si bueh sai par chia eh. Yi si pun mai thia. Hor lah. Jit zhun si liao. Bien thia liao. Heng lui settle.

Ah Lun : “Walaoeh. Jit pai hor seh liao lah.”

Ah Peng : “Tiang kioh lu par chia ti Double Line ah. Hokkienlang kong liao ma, heng jit neng kak ko hor.”

Limpeh : “Aiyah, buey yiow kin lah. Tiok jit pai tio buey zhor tei ji pai liao lo.”

Ah Lun : “Aih. Hor cai wa eh chia boh hor yi thua ki.”

Limpeh : “Thua ki liao wa nang tio boh chia hor eng lo!!.”

Ah Lun : “Walao.”

Limpeh : “Siao liao lor. Yiu jit ki, sa ma pun ki.”

Ah Lun : “Simik sama. Boh beng pek.”

Limpeh : “Tiong kim sa ma profession wu eng cia eh mah.”

Ah Lun : “Hee kuan kor toilet eh, mah ai yiu ah?”

Limpeh : “Oh, of course! Boh yiu yi an cua ki zhor kang? Then, boh yiu boh cia tiok boh lang jip toilet. Yi tio boh thaan lo!”

Ah Peng : “Lu khua ah, yiu ki jit kak si jin sueh, ta pi lu pak chueh jin kui eh ler.”

Limpeh : “Si loh. Wa jioh pak 3 litre ler kia it.”

Ah Peng : “Wa mah si.”

Ah Lun : “Wa ko si boh beng pek. Toilet ler. Lang pang jioh pang sai mah ai eng yiu?”

Ah Peng : “Pang bueh chut tio pang tam pok yiu lo…”

Limpeh : “Hahaha.. Grease ah?”

Ah Peng : “Haha!”

Limpeh jin tulan. Offit lai sar eh new worker. Ko si university graduate ler! Niameh. Pik giap liao First Class Honours! Tapi kio yi zhor kang, yi lang simik lan ciao mah beh hiao. Nabeh. Jip pai eh hao seh kia sa ma eh hiao thak chek beh hiao zhor kang ah?

Kio yi Format Computer yi mah complain. Kio yi Install Software yi mah complain. Kio yi Install Hardware yi mah complain. Aih. Kio yi ki si hor lah.

Interview si zhun wa mng yi eh course wu kar yi practical boh, yi kong wu. An cua Uni wu kar practical, ta pi hak seng pik giap liao kanasai leh?

Limpeh : “Oi, Ah Lun. Lu ai jiak simik?”

Ah Lun : “Cin cai.”

Limpeh : “Nasi lomak ai mai?”

Ah Lun : “Mai larrr… jin yiu.”

Limpeh : “Wahlau eh. Lu ti si eh hiam yiu eh?”

Ah Lun : “Kiam pui mah.”

Limpeh : “Mi Soto ai mai?”

Ah Lun : “Wa boh suka jiak ketupat leh.”

Limpeh : “Nasi Ayam ler?”

Ah Lun : “Wa kia lit boh jiak bak. Jiak ceh.”

Limpeh : “Then? Lu ai jiak simik?”

Ah Lun : “Cin cai.”