Wa Si Hokkien Lang

Halo! Pang sai liao bueh? Kekekeke.

Wa sueh han si gao jit zhun wu jit eh phai kuan. Wa pang sai thar tiok ai khua chek. Na si boh chek khua, wa eh jin sien, boh mood pang sai. Pang sai jin tiong yiow eh! Lu jit ler pai mai pang sai lah. Khua lu eh ka chng phuah boh.

Gu zar wa hak seng si, pang sai tiok ai thak chek. Pheng yong si wa boh thak chek eh! Wa tak kang chut ki cher peng you sioh hun lim jiu (kong chioh). Wa eh lao bu mng wa an cua pang sai pang sibeh gu. Wa kong wa thak chek, wa ah bu meh wa siao. Yi mm zai wa pang sai thak chek jin enjoy eh.

Jit zhun tua han liao. Lao liao. Ko si wu jit eh phai kuan. Tak kang pang sai tiok ai thak poh chuah. An cua thak poh chuah? Eng IPORK LA! KAKAKAKAKA!

HEPI NIU EAR LAH KIONG HEE KIONG HEE!

Ho seh boh?

Aih. Jit nee limpeh sibeh sueh leh. Puak kiau soo kanneh lan. Puak 21 soo, puak baccarat soo, puak poker soo, puak texas holdem limpeh soo ka ai teng kor ah! Puak baccarat giak 21 eh bai, puak 21 giak baccarat eh bai. Kanneh. Limpeh si sueh ka boh wueh kong.

Ai pai ni mah kang kor. Ker jueh chia liao ai chueh peng yiu mah kang kor. Limpeh si hua manual eh chia. Ai dak yiu ai dak brek, aih dak kao limpeh kar sng. Limpeh gao peng yiu eh chu si chun, limpeh ai lok chia pun kang kor! Jin eh si ci… laka.

Limpeh tau mng sibeh tng. Wu jit gang bohsong tiok cheong ki salon kioh ah beng ga limpeh kar tau merng.

Limpeh: “Ah beng, lai ga limpeh siu tampok jippeng. Mai sueh ah. Limpeh boh thua jin chueh lui.”

Ah beng: (BOH THUA LUI?!) “Wah, boh thua lui? Wa thia kong lu sibeh wu lui leh.”

Limpeh : “Hahahaha, lu si di jit peng hee kia thia eh? Boh lah. Limpeh ai kar tau mng mah si jit nng ko guek ka kar jit pai.”

Ah beng: “Si meh? Mai sien wa la hor.”

Limpeh : “Limpeh boh anneh eng sien lu. Kammeh lai kar tau mng lah.”

Ah beng: “ok ok…”

…

Limpeh : “Er, ah beng ah, bueh ki mng lu hor. Jit peng kar tau mng ai luah chueh lui ah?”

Ah beng : “RM30.”

Limpeh : “WAH LANEHHHH. Lu tock kueh bak ah?”

Ah beng : “wahlao. wa plofessional leh.”

Limpeh : “laoeh. mai kar liao lah. Limpeh chueh Muthu kar. Boh gao lui la. RM30 sibeh kui.”

Ah beng : “ok lur”

Jippai eh ginna jin giet siao. Chap sa chap si her tio anneh boh tua boh sueh. Wa eh ki gu za khua tiok wu jit eh chap sa her ginna huak yi eh lao bu kio yi ki tor chui hor yi lim. Tiok. Si beh boh tua boh sueh.

Ker ni see, wa ki jit eh ho peng you eh chu. Yi eh cha bo kia jin kuai. Sueh sueh han nia tio eh hiao kio kor kor. Wa boh si uncle, ok. Wa si lao, tah pi wa eh bin ko si hao seh eh. Hee eh cha bo kia eh mia kio Andrea. Sibeh Q. Tao seng wa wu tam pok kang kor kio yi eh mia. Wa tiam tiam kio yi India. Yi eh lao peh (wa peng you) chio ka peng.

Wa peng you eh bor si cham wa kok lang. Wa bueh ki yi si simik kok keh eh lang. Hmm… Wa na si bo salah wa khua yi si Eng Kok lang. Jit eh peng you wa jin gu boh khua tio liao. Yi ki Eng Kok chor seng li chor ka jin tua. Haha. Wu peng you eh sai chia wa chiak liao. Hehehehe…

Tah pi wa peng you eh tah po kia, jin pai see. Pi Andrea koh sueh han. Yi eh mia kio Anson. Yi mai thia yi peh bu eh wueh. Kio yi ki cang ek, yi mai. Kio yi ki tor chui, yi mai. Ka yi kong tam pok wueh nia yi tio tu lan. Beh tahan. Tah pi wa si guest, bueh sai luan luan lai.

Wa eh peng you boh kong chueh, giak tin tiao boot Anson. Wah, wa sueh han si zhun wu tiok pa, tah pi mai wu lang kek si zhun pa kia mah! Wa ka wa eh peng you kong ker ni mai siu ki. Siu ki gu liao eh chin ging lao eh. Hoho, ho cai wa peng you thia wa eh wueh. Anson sibeh heng ah.

Nabeh. Wa beh song.

Zha meh wa ki khua hee. Khua hee tiok ai RM10. Buey popcorn ma ai jior jior puek kor(RM8). Chow chow sng ma wu RM18. Anneh kuan mana eh sai! Oh, wa buey ki khong. Wa khua midnight show gao jee tiam. Khua liao hee wa ki pub lim jiu. Lim jiu lim jiu lim kao mm zai teng. Mm zai wu kong salah wueh boh

Kia lit wa eh thao jin thia. Thia kao wa tu lan. Wa beh suka khua locter. Locter hor wa eh yiok jin ow eh. Wu chee sek eh, ang sek eh kar phek sek eh. Beh song lah. Buey kwee liap yiok yee ma ai RM50.00. Cibai eh lar. Hor cai wu MC.

Ginna tua han siang hor si zor locter. An cua lei? Kan tan. Lu zor pang kao yi tan lang(lui) lai. Sui cha boh lai lu tio tan tiok. Ai yi tng sa tng kor no ploblem. Khua kao lu bo lat.

…

Ah Lun : “Jit tui lang tua gor eh kia.”

Ah Keong : “Ho liao. Wa seh sa eh wa tio beh tahan liao.”

Ah Peng : “Thor chiu jit eh, jia chiu jit eh. Ko jit eh an cua phor?”

Limpeh : “Eng kar ler. Kekekeke.”

Ah Keong : “Bo lah. Jit zhun to lok wu lang phor kia chut mng eh.”

Limpeh : “Wu leh. Lu khua yi. Phor kia ler.”

Ah Keong : “Ok. Lu khua. Gor eh kia an cua phor? Lao bu phor neng eh. Lao peh phor neng eh. Ko jit eh hor kang lang phor. Enjoy simik ler.”

Limpeh : “Eh. Then lu an cua settle ler.”

Ah Keong : “Pang hor wa lao bu kor. Kekekeke”

Limpeh : “Wah.”

Ah Lun : “Wah.”

Ah Peng : “Wah.”

Ah Keong : “Lu lang sa eh wah simik?”

Limpeh : “Lu khua.”

Ah Keong : “Wah.”

…

(Wa lang “Wah” simik? )

Tauke : “Hokkienlang, lu ki opis khua wu wa eh file boh.”

Limpeh : “Simik sek eh?”

Tauke : “Ang sek.”

Limpeh : “Ok ok…”

…

Limpeh : (Tien Weh) “Tauke! Lu eh file ti tolok? Cher boh leh!”

Tauke : “Ti wa jit dao.”

Limpeh : “… An cua lu bo ka wa zar zar kong?”

Tauke : “Hor lu exercise tam pok eh sai bo? tak kang jiak jiak jiak, bueh pui meh?”

Limpeh : “ok ok eh sai eh sai.” (Kanineh, appai ko kioh wa giak file lu tiok si!)

Ah Lun: “Eh.”

Limpeh : “Zhormik”

Ah Lun: “Lu eh sa puah ji tua kang ler.”

Limpeh : “SI MEH?! To lok puah?”

Ah Lun: “Aubueh. Lu mm zai eh meh?”

Limpeh: “Limpeh khua thao jeng nia ler.”

Ah Lun: “Jit eh kang sibeh tua ler. Lu na si boh khua tiok… si bak jiu tak stem? Hahahaha”

Limpeh : “Cibai. Ki si la.”

Limpeh: “Tauke! Charkueyteow jippuah! Jiak eh!”

Tauke: “OK. Sama longzhong eh sai pang?”

Limpeh: “Eh sai.”

…

Tauke char hor kueyteow liao. Giak lai hor wa.

Tauke: “Gor khor puek.”

Limpeh: “WAHLAO! Mm si si khor puek eh meh? Ti si ki ji khor eh?!”

Tauke: “Yew keh ki mah.”

Limpeh: “Si chia yew ki ler. Lu eh charkueyteow wu pang chia yew eh ah?”

Tauke: “Lu si ai jiak eh mai?!”

Limpeh: “Ai… ai… soli soli.”